The movie shown in the theatre in Mr Bean’s Holiday Edit: Thank you for the award! Or as Mr Bean would say, ‘Gracias’


Written by Willem Dafoe Produced by Willem Dafoe Directed by Willem Dafoe EDIT: corrected spelling of first name


Wow, wait, that WAS Willem Dafoe. I only realized that now. You know, he was something of a movie maker himself.


now that's a pull


I love Mr. Bean's holiday. I know it's a silly movie but it just makes me happy.


The Discovery. 2017 movie with Jason Segel and Robert Redford. Main characters dad scientifically proves there is an afterlife, and the world immediately is besieged with an astronomically high suicide rate because of this discovery. It's just disappointing because what could've been a very profound film was distilled down to an extremely up-its-own-ass film about guy trying to save a girl from *insert unfavorable outcome here*


And in the end wasn't the afterlife just them ||reliving their own lives trapped in their own rotting brains over and over again, doomed to repeat the same mistakes?||


Nope. Actually >!they are not trapped in their rotting brains. When you die you go back to a time where you made a mistake in your life and you can correct it. Then when it is corrected you go back to a previous one to correct it. You always get back to the last mistake as a save point in a game and you do that path until it is fixed over and over again. I like this idea as in the end we get to a perfect run-through a completely ideal life where everything is percect. But until so you do your loops over and over and over again. Like Will was doing the ferry loop.!<


This is just Re:Zero with extra steps


Yes, this is exactly why I loved this movie. It wasn't as pretentious as it was pretending to be, if that makes sense.


That movie was such a let down...


The opening of The Neon Demon when the director put a watermark of his initials over the opening credits.


How dare you throw shade at Nicholas Winding Refn! I loved movies such as Drive, by Nicholas Winding Refn. Also loved the Pusher series, by Nicholas Winding Refn. Bronson was great as well, directed by Nicholas Winding Refn, in case you missed it. In all seriousness though, I do actually really love his movies. Studied them alot in film school. Had a pretty big Dogma 95 phase inspired by the Pusher series. Lots of other cool danish Dogma 95 films not made by Nicholas Winding Refn as well.


He can be a talented director and be pretentious as hell. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. I actually like The Neon Demon, but that watermark is embarrassing. As is his interview with William Friedkin where NWR refers to himself as the “younger version” of Friedkin. I like some of his movies, but I find his personality insufferable.


I saw *Too Old to Die Young* by the same guy. I feel like he's the guy that shows up at a party uninvited, does all your coke, and then complains about the quality. At some point he probably uses your hand towels to wipe his ass, and then clogs the toilet with them, before disappearing with a bottle of your good whiskey.


The Neon Demon is the most Nicholas Winding Refn movie title I can imagine.


Neon Demon was insufferable


*What the bleep do we know* Pretentious turd basket.


Wasn’t that movie just essentially propaganda for a cult that the filmmaker Mark Vicente was in? The same dude who went on to join another cult, NXIVM?


Yes, then he has the audacity in the HBO documentary series to constantly say: “I’m not the type of person to fall for crazy beliefs.” Bro, you are the primary person falling for this.


Unearned confidence that they are better than average at resisting propaganda has to be like the number one feature you want in a mark.


It's complete and utter bullshit. But more uneducated/uninformed/pseudo-profound than pretentious I would say. Definitely a turd basket!


Holdup, are you telling me that it's not actually possible to manipulate water molecules with my mind?


It works because...."Quantum Physics"


This movie was how I learned my friend was a nutjob. She saw the movie, and was raving about it, and made me go rent it. I had to convince myself she wasn't joking or trolling. She actually believes this stuff.


Eat Pray Love.


And if you're curious why it feels so pretentiously contrived, the worst thing is that the source material was basically an orchestrated mid-life epiphany that the author [pitched to the publisher](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Gilbert#Eat,_Pray,_Love) to get the "adventure" funded. If you're also wondering what it costs to manufacture a spiritual awakening by dabbling with gurus from Orient and exotic partners, it's apparently $200K. Thankfully, you can get more useful advice from her latest book on "how to live a life as creative as hers."


Honestly while it sounds like a complete scam, and maybe it was at the outset, the publisher’s investment absolutely paid off. I’m sure they don’t regret funding that jaunt at all.


Oh I don't even think of it like a scam. More a joint business venture targeting wish fulfillment of bored, privileged white suburbanites seeking their own spiritual awakening without having to take PTO.


> the worst thing is that the source material was basically an orchestrated mid-life epiphany that the author pitched to the publisher > to get the "adventure" funded. TBH that's a big brain move. Why pay for your mid-life crisis when you can have your publisher pay for it as "reference material"?


Sitting through this movie was agony.


A guy took me to see this movie for our 3rd date, after we'd watched Jackass 3 on our prior date. There was no 4th date.


A man of eclectic tastes I see. You missed Rashoman and Veggie Tales: Lord of the Beans by skipping dates 4 & 5.


Watch Cry Vomit


Ugh. I had a friend who was OBSESSED with the book when it came out, so when the movie was released that was what she wanted to do for her birthday weekend as a dinner and a movie outing with the girls. I fell asleep about 45mins into what felt like a 3hrs ordeal. I know she woke me up once and I was like "has she gone anywhere yet?" It was SO full of itself. She kept trying to get me to read the book & I told her I'd rather scrape my skin off.


I know I shouldn't judge your friend based on a few sentences but I feel like I know everything about her based on "obsessed with Eat, Pray, Love" and "birthday *weekend*".


Never seen it, but the title alone...gag.


Basically Julia Roberts is unhappy and goes to three different cities and gets her back blown out by three different sexy dudes. Not trying to shame here. It’s just lame how they try to weave in some spiritualism and philosophy with it. It’s a nothing movie about a midlife crisis. The only takeaway is that if you’re unhappy you should have an expensive drop everything midlife crisis I guess. If you can afford it. The whole thing is what I imagine Karen’s day dream about. There are plenty of male equivalents to this so whatever let people enjoy it is what I say.


> Basically Julia Roberts is unhappy and goes to three different cities and gets her back blown out by three different sexy dudes. This needs to be the movie description on Amazon.




Fun Elizabeth Gilbert fact, she wrote an article in I think the New Yorker called the muse of coyote ugly about the real life Lil. Lil actually did leave a job on Wall Street and opened up a grungy bar in the meat packing district where she would berate and abuse her adoring customers. Gilbert worked there for a stretch and ended up writing about Lil and her experience working there. The piece was then read by Jerry Bruckheimer who developed the piece into what would become the movie Coyote Ugly.


And apparently made her ex out to be a soul stifling man when he apparently was some normal dude who was blindsided by the whole thing.


So was her wife who like died of cancer. Then she was straight again.


Y'ever been so privileged ya gotta manufacture your own drama?


Into the Wild for middle aged white women.


Alternatively, it's How Stella Got Her Groove Back for white women.


Bad comparison IMO, I liked *Into the Wild* because in addition to the spiritual exploration it also showed the punishing consequences of naivete


Uggh my sister LOVED into the wild and reckoned she really identified with the story. Shut up Melanie! You’ve never even gone on a long walk! Stop going on about that damn movie!?!


Into the wild was actually a good story. Watching some white lady live in privilege isnt.


Yeah, I didn’t get the hype with that film.


it insists upon itself




Fine actor. Did not like the movie


Peter Griffin?


Pea…. Tear…. Griffin


I love the money pit. That is my answer to that statement


didnt care for the godfather....


God's not Dead. It thinks that it's smart but it's really fucking dumb.


As a Christian, its a massive circle jerk with zero merit. Unfortunately, most pop-christian movies/music is horrible. Watching a movie like Martin Scorsese's Silence really hammers that in. A movie about apostasy somehow delves more into the intricacies of faith than a feel good Christian movie. Which is further ironically funny, because Scorsese just filmed The Wolf on Wall Street right before Silence.


What was that one that was using his son’s near death experience as proof? Like, believe or not believe, the account of a 5 year old kid on anesthesia is probably not a great account. Especially I think he describes the angels as depicted in modern day media and not biblically accurate too? Edit: Heaven is for Real. And it’s supposed to be based on a true story


I had to Google to verify but 2010 actually saw TWO bestsellers from children claiming they "went to heaven". *Heaven is for Real*, which later became a film, and *The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven*, which is now out of print b/c said boy later admitted he made it all up. (I kid you not, his name is Alex Malarkey. It's actually really sad b/c he is paralyzed from the accident that he alleged temporarily sent him to heaven.) Anyway, I thought that was interesting and it's as close as I'll ever come to watching that movie.


Then once in a while we get something like Prince of Egypt, Silence, or the Passion, and it kinda makes up for the garbage that gets made.


As a Christian, that movie is terrible. It perpetuates the idea that Christians are oppressed or persecuted in America. As well as this “us vs them” mentality against atheists. Also, it portrays all Christians as being great and caring people while portraying all atheists as the worst people to ever walk the earth. I cannot imagine how any Christian can watch that movie and not absolutely hate it.


Christian student: "Why do you hate God?" Atheist professor: "Because, he took everything away from me! Yes, I HATE God! All I have for him is hate!" Christian student: "How can you hate someone if they don't exist?" {College student drops mic.} The people who made the film think that's the ultimate "gotcha".


"Why do you hate God?" "Who?"


In all seriousness most people that leave religion understand how religious people think and function. It's when religious people assume how atheists think and what they believe in, and make a movie based on their weak perception of it, that's when we see god awful classics like 'God's not dead'


The people who made the film have never met an atheist.


What I didn't like about that scene is that the kid kept pressing for an answer. First time he asked him, the professor said, "That's not even a question" as if it's so absurd he can't even answer it. But the kid asked like 3 or 4 times before he got that fired up answer. Dude, you just kept pestering him for an answer because you didn't accept his first few times he completely shot down your question. How can you take the one emotional outbreak you forced as a legit answer?


That entire movie is basically a straw man argument


Yeah but at least the straw man finally accepted Christ as his lord an savior literally seconds before dying from being hit by a ~~plot device~~ car.


Imagine a college professor challenging a student to a debate and threatening to fail him if he doesn't A) accept the challenge and B) win the debate that he also plans to moderate. The whole school would be getting sucked into a black hole of lawsuits and negative PR faster than you could blink.


Sometimes, the devil makes people successful, to trick them…


Omg I forgot about this movie. Everyone from the poor/dumb town I grew up in was posting it on Facebook because they thought it was what college was like and they wanted to "own the libs".


Another Christian adding on to say 100% it is a huge circle jerk. "Look how oppressed we are in the freest society on earth!" There are Christians facing real persecution in the east. That movie makes a mockery of it.


One of my favorite comedies. Hercules plays an atheist. Come on man. Thats funny shit. Also, atheists don't hate God. It's not logical, or possible to hate that which doesn't exist.


I don't know about that. I don't believe in Bigfoot but I really hate that hairy fucker.


For the same kind of pretention from the other side, Religulous, Bill Mahr's documentary about religion where he just goes around roasting religious leaders.


Boxing Helena


What a bizarre movie. I love it!


I know it's kinda terrible but I love it as well.


Haven't seen it in years, and know it'll probably make me cringe, but am definitely going to watch it at least once more in this lifetime. It's a hidden gem of bizarre.


Absolutely, without a doubt: LIFE ITSELF The absolute most pretentious swill you will ever sit though (until you turn it off, run to the bathroom and throw up for an hour)


The Room. Written and Directed by the main actor. A terrible writer, director and actor. And one of the best movies I've ever watched.




Oh, hi Mark.


The pretentiousness of it is what makes it so amazing, there’s nothing like Wiseau not understanding how to act the lines HE wrote. Simply marvelous


Oh hi Mark


I did naht hit her! I did naaaht... ...Oh hai Mark


Crash. Hamfisted, overwrought, poorly written Oscar-bait.


At least we have Cronenberg’s Crash


This is an obvious thing to say, but as time goes on cronenbergs stuff just becomes more rad


Only time I’ve had a movie make me angry because it treated the audience like a child.


Hello. I am Hollywood and We feel slighted that you see our attempt to tell people racism is bad to be condescending. By the way, "condescending" is to "talk down to", and no I did not google the correct way to spell the word or the definition.


Which ‘Crash?’


Not the weird fetish one, but the extremely pedantic, heavy-handed one about racism.


Did you consider them both to be Oscar bait? lol


The academy is always giving statues to car-fuckers


Dammmmn I was in grade 11 when that came out and I loved it. That little girls Cape 😭


Yeah I thought it was really dumb too. Couldn’t believe it one the Oscar for best pic. Edit: won* holy shit


I believe it two the Oscar for best pic.


It may even had three the Oscar for best pic.


God I had to study this in English to find the "deeper meaning", except there's nothing deep because it rams it down your throat


Downsizing starring Matt Damon


I was more pissed that they deliberately marketed that film as a comedy. I felt completely bamboozled coming out of the theater.


Was it pretentious or just meandering and boring? It's a great premise that goes nowhere. Edit: No sarcasm intended. I HONESTLY can't recall it being pretentious, but maybe I missed something.


The English Patient. How could I be bored and angry at the same time?!


For me it's Babel. What a shitty movie.


Up next on this thread: people simply listing all the movies they don’t like


You’re partially right, but it’s worth understanding that a huge reason they would list a movie here that they don’t like is because they ALSO find it pretentious. I didn’t like Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man 2, but I’m not going to list it in this thread. There’s a Venn diagram of disliked films and ones we think are pretentious. The ones we’re talking about here are in the overlap.


Any movie with Woody Allen in it. He is always super neurotic, always over-analyzes minute details, talks too much, just so exhausting. And now we also know what a pig-dog of a human he is in real life, marrying his step-daughter child bride. Ugh.


Midnight in Paris is his only film I've been able to watch and rewatch. I feel he tries to get his male leads to channel the fantasy artsy Jewish nerd vision of himself he sees whenever he closes his eyes.


Didn't he direct Blue Jasmine as well? That was pretty good.


*Match Point* is his most non-Woody Allen movie, and it’s exceptional. It also doesn’t have much to do with tennis and is poorly named.


What about Antz


This is the only Woody Allen movie I've been able to watch through and it's just lovely. Didn't know it's a Woody Allen movie though...


i describe his body of work as ‘masturbatory’


That word, masturbatory, sounds like a room. “We’ll take tea in the masturbatory.” (Credit to David Mitchell for that joke)


Romans would call it a Masturbatorium.


I like his films except for that nervous fella that's always in them.


> always super neurotic, always over-analyzes minute details, talks too much, just so exhausting Kind of like me, probably why I’ve liked his stuff (haven’t seen a lot though)


The Brown Bunny. Written by Vincent Gallo, produced by Vincent Gallo, starring Vincent Gallo, edited by Vincent Gallo, culminating in a literal blowjob for Vincent Gallo.


That amc trailer with the woman in a suit spouting nonsense about why going to the movies is this sort of transcendent experience. Not even a movie but I see it every time I watch a movie and it pisses me off every time.




I saw this movie opening day at an early showing. I'll never forget it solely for the reaction of the older lady with her husband behind me when it was over. As soon as the credits started, I just hear her snap at her husband; "What the fuck was that, Marty!?" It made the whole thing worth it.


my husband and I are dying laughing at your story. I bet Marty doesn't get to pick the movie for a while...


I don't know why but his name being Marty just really fits.


My 80 year old parents somehow ended up seeing "Joker" in the theater. They had a similar reaction. Honestly, they didn't realize it connected to Batman until I told them. Mind you, there were aspects of it they enjoyed.


My favorite part of this movie is right after it ended when the guy behind me in the theater exclaimed "Jesus fucking Christ". I couldn't see him, but I could hear him roll his eyes.


I rented this when it first came out.. i didn’t move or speak for a solid 2 hours after because i was not sure what the fuck just happened and i felt like i needed to shower


Allegedly, Jennifer Lawrence broke up with the director after he wouldn't get over the poor reception to this film, and kept yapping on about it.


Ok, so I watched mother! shortly after it got put on Prime and I’d never heard or seen anything about the film (other than Prime had it categorized as horror.) Dude, when I tell you I was *screaming* at my TV for Jennifer Lawrence to have just ONE normal reaction, that is no exaggeration. I was beyond irritated watching her just act confused and flustered. Obviously it’s all in the name of the allegory, but it was *infuriating* watching human characters behave so unnaturally for a 2+ hour movie.


It was all a dream, used to read word up magazine.


This one. I usually like Darren Aronofsky's films and am looking forward to seeing The Whale but holy shit did I hate that film. The whole thing felt like giant ego stroke to his artistic genius.


That movie made me so uncomfortable that I have to have some respect for it


Ooh I can see that but I also loved this movie. There are not enough movies that do that slow burn vibe well.


Yes agreed. I can see most people hating it since it’s not a normal movie. But I love it.


The English Patient


“Just die already!”




1 ticket for Sack Lunch, please.


Don’t you wanna know how they got in there?


Who is this? Uncle Leo?




You were being arrested! ...you still say hello


I hope you're watching the clothes, because I can't take my eyes off the passion.


I came here to say this because I just watched that episode of Seinfeld.


How has nobody mentioned Garden State? That movie will change your life.


You think that’s cringe, my yearbook quote was “good luck exploring the infinite abyss.” 🫣


My condolences on your death from embarrassment.


Serious question: has Natalie Portman *ever once* had an on-screen romantic interest that wasn't insufferable, or alarming, or both?


Forny from Where the Heart is? He was more endearing than weird.


I saw that movie as a teenager and didn't really get it. I've seen it multiple times since then and it's seriously endearing. Americus!


Thor is cool


I dunno man I think "thunder god" is well into "alarming" territory. But maybe that's just me.


There was that one with the nice Canadian boy. He seemed nice but I fell asleep after the first couple of episodes.


The Canadian actor playing the former slave who hated sand?


From my perspective, Natalie Portman is evil.


I hate Natalie Portman. She's coarse and irritating and gets everywhere


I like New Slang too but you don't see me making a big deal about it


never watched that movie but years ago everyone on the internet loved it. always thought i should give it a try. today everyone on the internet hates it . maybe they will love it again in a few years


Funny, I saw it when it first came out and thought it was amazing. Now it makes me feel embarrassed for liking it so much. In my defense, I was on drugs at the time.


I feel the same way about Garden State. I think I'm coming more around to the idea that some things are for you at different times in your life. I needed Garden State when I was 19. Now I think it's pretentious and juvenile but I did need it.


I love that you said this. A lot of people had a phase like that. I assume my kids will go through something similar and need it eventually. I sort of feel the same way about Elizabethtown, and yet I actually still can’t help but enjoy that movie.


Same... I was fresh and out of high school and had my first real serious girlfriend and *this movie spoke to me.* Now the movie just seems like a kind of sort of decent student film. The main character has no real faults and just pins it all on the dad and circumstance.


I still think the ecstasy scene was a good depiction of being on ecstasy. And that filming style of playing w the playback speed was still novel.


If this thread is evidence of anything it’s that people REALLY don’t know what Pretentious means


Then explain that you pretentious f**k


Or irony apparently…


Mr. Nobody hands down, Jared Leto has alot of pompous rolls, but this one is with out a doubt the most egregious


I remember watching this and waiting for it to go somewhere


There was some movie with Michelle Williams where she decided to cheat on Seth Rogan just because she was bored, going off and having 3 somes and stuff, then at end she realises she wants him back but he refuses because he's moved on. It was framed as her being independent and liberated but she just came off as a douche. I can't remember the name and can't find it when searching.


Take this waltz




That’s actually one of my favourite movies because the last scene is when she realizes what an actual idiot she was for blowing up her life and that in the end she’s still the same boring person she was before. I thought the acting was brilliant and I will forever hold a flame for Luke Kirby because of that movie 🔥 I can see how it can come off as pretentious though


I agree. She doesn’t get the happily ever after with the new guy, because like she was told earlier “Everything old used to be new.” She had to learn that the hard way. Rogen did a great job in that, too.


It's very thematic in that new things are fun and exciting but don't last.....I saw this movie randomly and it made me think for days after. I loved it and rewatched recently.


I also love this movie for all of those reasons. I liked Stories We Tell as well.


Tree of Life.


I remember theaters having hand-written signs posted in their box offices saying they wouldn’t give refunds for Tree of Life. I guess so many people were walking out mid-movie demanding their money back.


I've defended this movie to so many people. I understand how it's divisive, but I found it incredibly moving.


I’m the same. But I can see how people dislike it. I will say this is probably his last good film.


I loved the concept, but the execution was way to full of itself.


Prospero’s Books. Granted, I haven’t seen it but once, 30 years ago, but my recollection is that it was a retelling of Shakespeare’s *The Tempest,* with a lot of interpretive dance, done in the nude.


Okay but based on your description now I want to hate watch this.


some shit called tenet... still no clue what they were trying to say, but they sure were trying


It's like someone make a bot watch all Chris Nolan movies and then made it to write a screenplay.


This pushed me over the line with Nolan. I was like, “I’m not stupid, you’ve just made a bad movie.”


THANK YOU. I had one friend that loved it and insisted I just didn't get it, so I had him explain it to me. He couldn't. Everything he said, I was able to poke holes in or show how it didn't make sense or didn't even happen in the movie. Finally he had to admit that he didn't really understand it and just really liked the visuals. There's nothing to understand, the plot pretends to be convoluted but in reality it's held together with a very thin string and the word 'algorithm' being a catch all term for 'you're not smart enough to understand so don't try'.


All of your points, combined with the fact that the sound mix was intentional - low dialogue sound, high music sound. When I found that out, I was pretty sure Nolan was just fucking with us.


EVERYONE is baffled by Nolan's sound mixing. He's been doing it since Dark Knight Returns, at least, where most of Bane's dialogue is too muffled to understand. Pretty much every movie he's made since then, the sound mix makes it nearly impossible to hear the dialogue. I've never seen anyone manage to put together a coherent explanation of why he would do this or what he's trying to accomplish.


One of the reasons I've seen floated for this is that actors and directors are trying to sound more "realistic", rather than the somewhat artificial dialogue and enunciation that traces back to stage acting. It's not a *good* reason, but it's a reason.


Ah man I just loved the way it works or seems to works, I loved it. But I guess it takes itself too serously. I didn't mind.


I literally couldn’t hear them half the time. Also the main character’s name is literally “The Protagonist” and he’s literally just a talking robot he has no character development throughout the entire movie


It was a movie written entirely around a cool special effects idea/technique. They forgot about all the other parts of the movie it seems


Not entirely. I think the most important aspect that Nolan wanted to experiment with was the idea of a blank slate protagonist. It didn't really work out as good as he hoped, but I think we need to give him credit for trying something new at least.


Nolan trying to outdo Nolan. A fairly basic plot made overcomplicated.


The Matrix Reloaded


First one is a legitimate masterpiece. The next 3? Oof


The Godfather. It insists upon itself.