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The_Frostweaver

Never let a good crisis go to waste


AndForeverNow

"I'm here to help you. I've always wanted a threesome."


Kimichanga83

Foursome? It’s only getting worse…uumm better?


DRFANTA

Age is just a number but im too old for games


jral1987

Age is just a number but then says he likes younger women.


bel_esprit_

And he says he doesn’t look 50, but he definitely does.


nickfree

I think his point is there is no minimum. Gross.


eldryanyy

I interpreted that as 50 is just a number. Don’t think he’s saying he is a pedo


Individual_Wasabi_10

Welcome to the next episode of *To Catch a Predator*


TheNoodlePunk

And prison is just a room, that you can’t leave.


dknogo

Some outlets are warning of a cat 5-some of epic proportions.


Omnimpotent

*the sound of panties dropping around the world*


PIWIprotein

The sheer lack of punctuation is terrifying in and of itself.


anthem47

What I like is that one, lonely full stop near the middle. Like, while drowning in an ocean of words, why did he decide that that one particular thought deserved a full stop?


Not_a_real_ghost

Hey man he doesn't do drugs but he sure can watch you smoke weed.


equus_gemini

That is the eye of the hurricane


askalottle

It made the 420 friendly seem like a threat. 420 friendly period.


Souse-in-the-city

The Cormac McCarthy of hookup artists.


PioneerAT

One period that was probably an accident.


Dr3s99

My desired to cuddle is as big as the hurricane


roostertree

He was *talking* cuddle, but he was *meaning* "Wanna wait the hurricussy out with your pussy out?"


bimm3r36

Success is just the crossroad of preparation and opportunity. I’m rooting for him.


biskutgoreng

The storm provides


SadShayde

"I like younger women" "Age is just a number" So....which is it?


Rivejam

“Age is just a number” “Prison is just a room”


PinchiChango

And this post is just one sentence. ........ all the periods that should have been used. Lost me a few times while reading ngl


Venger10

He might get his wish of a 3 some but in prison.


kcreal07

“Hell is just a sauna”


charavaka

He's just telling you he likes small numbers. Could be because he don't count good, judging from the atrocious writing.


FO-I-Am-A-Time-God

He doent cownt gud


VideoEffective

As long the lady is young and he's old 🤣


hpstrprgmr

his age is just a number. I mean her's is too. As long as it's well below his.


Dontwalkongrass1

Too old for games too…games are a just a number.


think_long

At the start I kinda felt a bit bad for him but that feeling really faded as I read on.


Tyl3rt

“You want to ride out the storm here?” “Only message me if you want something long term like your dead body in the walls in my basement.”


DoubleDeees13

The Hericane whisper!!


The_Quibbler

"Don't smoke or do drugs but 420 friendly" he's all over the map. Luckily, the map is Florida.


Defiant_Yoghurt_9833

Nuber*


TappedIn2111

Also, what’s his age? He’s looking 60, behaving like from the 1850s and writes like a five year old.


SadShayde

"50 dont look it or act it" He's half right.


twoleggedapocalypse

The woman's age matters, but clearly his is just a number


throwawaybyefelicia

“Too old for games”


UlteriorCulture

Age is a number. But as with bank balances and cholesterol it's an important number.


Gingermuffin27

Age is just a number but your number needs to be lower than my number (and your standards should be lower than my standards)


Marrecarandgi

Probably means 18 and under


user_bits

"Age is just a number" is a phrase primarily used for underaged girls.


wadewilson59

I also want to eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti !


AntLangman

Bet this guy is more: "I wanna eat yer liver with some mac & cheese!"


jass6042

Rock you like a Hericane!!


moreyvh

Age is only a number as long as it's in his favor lol


mikenmar

Ehhh… I’d rather take my chances with the hurricane.


Blue_Trackhawk

You mean the hericane?


davtheminer

He had me at hericane... I was ready to sign up... but then realised I don't live in Florida... don't fall into another Joe exotic trap they say... it's easy they say... Whew that was close.. better call my sponsor Edit: grammar


reloadingnow

Yer a wizard heri ... cane.


Literally_slash_S

I would prefer to spend time with [Harry Kane](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Kane)


CrumbledTheCookies

Yeah "too old for games" is definitely something a hurricane would never say, if they spoke. At least you know which way the wind blows.


NinjaCuntPunt

Stayed with the hurricane. Spoke softly to me. No games. Best blowjob of my life. 5/7


greeneighteen

At least the hurricane can get you wet!


NeighborhoodKitten

Same ahaha he's a different type of catastrophe


Antique-Car6103

We gonna die. This hurricane gonna kills us both. Let’s fuck before we croak. I don’t care if you’re 108 years old and wear depends. Age is just a number. Holler back at your boy.


BangerBeanzandMash

Age is just a nuber


WyrdNine

I wasn't sure if age could be a nuber or if it was just for phones. Thanks for clearing that up.


Aldren

>Age is only a nuber FIFY


aioncan

He’s 50 but doesn’t look it, looks like 60


phyrestorm999

And acts like a very misguided 12.


KingSteef

Jail is just a room


burtonfire87

Julian from the Trailer Park Boys has a cousin down south I see.


Crack_Ulla

I was thinking Ray.. way she goes bud


XxRaccoonGalxX

Just looking for friends of the road


Nexrosus

Fuckin’ way she goes


BuffaloChicken22

Sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn’t..


Mentalpatient87

It's like if Julian was Ray's son.


Then-Championship-67

It’s named hurricane Ian. Short for Julian.


Commercial-Ranger339

Hericane Ian


EsperPhantom

Lmfao chefs kiss my man


Hescoveredinbutter

He's rockin' yer look harrrd Julian!


Groan_Of_Wind

A mustard glass!!!


IdontDoAnythingAtAll

Gave an award due to thinking alike. Fucker made me think of Julian when he's 50 lmao


pratikdas79

Too old for games or punctuation


Then-Championship-67

Or spell check


peaceville

What, you've never heard of a hericane?


Then-Championship-67

I’ve only help create them, innuendo intended.


Special_Garage7225

Or proper capitalization


chiree

likes are long walks on the beach dogs and netflix and chill dislikes are capitalization punctuation and two dudes at the same time lol well maybe i guess i'm quite lonely you see so swinging both ways in this one instance maybe i don't know lol no fatties


Remz_Gaming

I was impressed he fit *one* period in there.... and it looks like a typo lol.


QuantumSpaceCadet

Lmao this man said "I've always wanted to fuck two bitches in a hurricane, call me."


mikenmar

Two chicks at the same time, man. https://youtu.be/9jq6e8s1sik


AdultishRaktajino

Exactly what I thought of. “Chicks dig dudes with ~~money~~ scarce resources.”


makkafakka

"The type of girls that would double up on a dude like me does"


Blue_Trackhawk

Nah, he said he's so lonely one girl won't do.


Special_Garage7225

But he’s obviously a gentleman, so he didn’t phrase it so crassly 🤣


GolgiApparatus1

Its called a 'Stormy Daniels'


americandream666

If Jon Stewart and Bruce Willis had a child while smoking meth in Florida it would be this guy


milkchug2020

Add Bono (b/c it has to be a threesome)


shirinsmonkeys

Or if Michael Douglas and Michael Douglas had a love child lol


maribrite83

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


MSGRiley

This guy is going to get a lot of hate but if you don't ever ask for something creepy, you're never going to get something creepy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MSGRiley

Four out of five stars! The guy's dog was super cute. The basket held plenty of lotion and the well was dry and comfortable. Getting in and out was a bit of a hassle, but I'm excited about this new opportunity to be part of the fashion world the proprietor has turned me on to. Sure are a lot of moths in here.


Sd_King18

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hurricane again


FranticHam5ter

*hericane


Mastokun

he puts on the robe and wizard hat


remarkablemayonaise

You missed the bit where he attended to your needs and made sure you were well fed. As rough as his words were he never roughed you up physically.


Objective_Look_5867

Yeah exactly. Nothing wrong with asking for what you want. If anything good on him for being honest and upfront.


Glittering-Agent-266

That's his idea of a hericane.


Kimichanga83

Slurricane


distinguishedgents

respect


Dutch-Sculptor

At least he is honest.


the_calico_jackk

Best comment yet. I laughed out loud so hard🤣😂


MSGRiley

Honestly I'd rather him be perving online then driving around in a van looking for girls.


Rickerus

Being that it’s Florida, and Jacksonville no less, I bet he gets plenty of takers


bel_esprit_

This guy is so Jacksonville. Like if AI could generate a typical Jacksonville guy’s face and personality, this would be it.


War-Square

Is earnesty a word? Because this is capital E-earnest.


magicmulder

Earnestness, but earnesty is a variant thereof (though not a legal Scrabble word).


ConanTheBardarian

What are you, the scrabble judiciary committee, because that'd be pretty neat


KarlyDuke

Awe shit, just in time for the newly single MTG.


anthem47

I guess a little Magic: The Gathering would pass the time.


Then-Championship-67

It would have been more simple to post “Hey LADYS dont get wet from the HERICANE I will make you the wettest you need come over as long as you’re under 30 and maybe bring a friend”


tarobucket

Read this out loud following the way he typed it, no punctuation and all. Ngl, ended up getting into a rhythm and it ended up sounding like a rap 😮‍💨


AridBenzene

“She could watch me do belly flops, then maybe we get some Thai food and a tank of nitrous and see what happens.”


westcoatavenger

Be careful that could cause a fart attack.


CoinBaked

Initiating the DENNIS system.


Almost_a_Noob

You two have boyfriends? ... How did you not know... that the reason I invited you back to my bar... was to bang you? Get outta here. GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! GET-GET OUTTA HERE, SHOO AWAY FROM ME!


FelixOGO

I have a bar… I own a bar. Would you like to stay at my bar? We can repopulate earth


LdubyaT

“Storm comin…hatchet comin”


medozijo

Was scrolling to find this!


Juking_is_rude

There's a hurricane outside, of course they're going to say yes... because of the implication.


IDLEHANDSART

Maybe he needs to offer them some pickled eggs in the bunker


something_python

The breasts make you care about the weather in a really good way...


SeaScreen5305

Let The "hericane" cometh.


arseniobillingham21

This guy looks like he’s crashed a jetski into a manatee.


Turbulent-Pair-

Grass, gas, or Mustache - nobody rides this storm for free!


cheezygritz3

WHERE ARE THE PERIODS?!


Fishes4Fish

Too old for him


CAPTSaveAHoe42o

Any ladies still using craigslist and wanting to be raped then hit this old timer up. Must be good in bed but also a virgin. Prefers a blind mute so she can't tell him no or see to run away.


sottedlayabout

Damn, Julian must have fallen on hard times. I hope bubbles and Ricky are ok.


Sayoria

Age is just a number? So.... Are 90 year olds good for him? Does he consider 16 year olds fair game?.......


gonejellyfishin77

He clearly stated he only was interested in younger women. So likely his age is just a number bs means he wants underage girls.


XanaxWarriorPrincess

Ew


BendTheSpoonNeo

Shitty gold chain really completes the look 😂


GingerMau

Old perv will trade fuck for physical safety as long as Ian poses an existential threat. Who's down!


DefKnightSol

They always say protect and provide soooo


DoomOne

They won't say no, because of the implication.


cperdue

That's a helluva sentence.


EngineZeronine

He'll get two women and wake up missing a kidney


SpanglishGirlNxtDoor

Hericane


cwhiley

Is that Lawrence? “Hey Peter man check out channel 9!”


GokuIsALegend

I tell ya what I'd do with a million dollars


Cold_Pomelo3274

Someone should check this guy’s basement.


V3rtigo44

Gonna need a scuba suit for that at this rate


427BananaFish

Here’s the thing guys, shit like this actually works. Lonely weirdos hook up with other lonely weirdos all the time. If you work at a bar you notice it a lot more. Crusty old drunk dude says the stupidest shit and the bowling alley rat he’s hitting on genuinely finds it charming and can’t keep her hands off him and his Marlboro windbreaker. They’re hooking up more than good looking people.


jakedesnake

There's even a recurring SNL sketch on that topic.... "Last call". Hilarious


realistic_bastard

"Lonely weirdos hook up with other lonely weirdos all the time." I like how you pretty much described all of human history here lol :)


NetAssetNeutrons

This was an episode of r/IASIP


Shrek49r

Imagine a chic choosing to run out into a hurricane instead of staying. If I was a betting man and the over/under was 3yrs in jail, I'd take the over if asked how much time he's done. I'd also parlay that with him riding this one out alone


Prixm

Dude has 58160 blue eyes


Good-of-Rome

Fuckin way she goes, Julian.


DeaconBlues67

Looks like Ray and Julian had a kid


Right-Fisherman-1234

Looks like Ray and Ray J had a kid.


TheDunkerSpot

Looks like Ricky took out an ad in the classifieds using Julian's picture again.


CreHater

House all boarded up, nice, dark and private inside. Hurricane outside, so nobody can hear you scream. Police is busy, fire department is busy. Yeah, really safe to go there. I could be wrong of course, but uhm… ladies, don’t. Just… don’t.


SadShots

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm still regularly amazed at how poorly people can write/spell online. It's one thing to misspell something but the inability of this guy to even string a coherent thought/sentence together is just astounding.


kettleboiler

Serial killer opportunity that he just couldn’t pass up. “Poor girls died in the storm. So sad “


bumblingbee22

Just saw this on r/niceguys


duckmantaco

Its like something out of Trailer Park Boys


SkeletonKiss78

"50 don't look it" Well he looks closer to 60 so r/technicallycorrect


km_44

And he's actually single I can't imagine why!


MysticWordNerd

Punctuators need not apply.


HufflePuffPastel

I think I counted one period


L00tgoblin

Well at least he's straight forward...


Nigglas24

“I like younger women, age is just a number.” 🤔


dwittherford69

It gets increasingly disturbing.


ManW-plan

Someone stole julians style from tpb


jonasthewicked

Lmfao I was like damn this looks like my dad had a baby with Julian


talpazz

This is peak Florida


Miffers

His number must be blowing up since this post here


Kaiaualad

Every Gal needs a creepy guy to ride out a Hurricane with. Or two, apparently. May he be inundated with little old grannies, age is but a number after all.


grandmabc

I'm a granny and I'd decline his offer. Just gross. I'd rather cling to a palm tree in the hurricane than stay at his house.


CaptainBillyum

"age is just a number" jail is just a room


Axendil

"Too old for games" he said while playing games


ParticularReview4129

Just an old not good looking white dude desperate to take advantage of very good looking, young females desperate enough to not want to sleep in their car. Gross.


Ill-Appointment6494

I like younger women age is just a number. Pick a lane, Chopper.


NickyNicky1975

Too old for games and punctuation ..where do I apply


Teddy_Icewater

All these comments roasting him and he's probably having a 3some through the howling storm.


tirnanog22

lol


m0estash

Chopper!!!!!


WrongWay2Go

Only 2% of people manage to find all punctuation characters.


NeitherArugula

He’s got a lot of blue eyes


coldheartedman

Can confirm. He is indeed friendly.


OriginalPromise

You know what they say folks. Age is just a number, jail is just a room.


alecubudulecu

Lol looking for desperate survivors


ouioui_baguette

Hericane


Radiant-Patience-549

RRUUNNNNN!!!


Strange-Date2429

'age is just a number' 'too old for games' Lmfao


DarthGoodguy

**mangle*


vrag87

It's a HIMicane not a HERicane