By - rockpilemike
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Pretty impressive that all of those early tests scored direct hits.
"Did they hit the target?" "Well they hit *A* target"
"It just happened to be *their* target"
Did it hit earth ? Mission complete.
We talking the missile or plane?
I feel like all planes are missiles if you're brave enough...
And then you turn to a pop sickle for years until some scientists try to restore you back and then you lead earth’s mightiest heroes against aliens and shit.
Never got that last dance, so kind of a waste
I mean they have been used that way a few times before.
One of them went up to heaven looked like
Every bomb is 100% accurate. They always hit the ground.
Nukes actually detonate a couple KM above ground.
The pieces eventually hit the ground. Ground always wins.
There is No pieces. It litterally evaporates from solid state
Well, the atoms eventually hit the ground by the radioactive rain, with the atoms of human bodies and other types of organic matter within the blast radius
Only a tiny fraction of a nuclear bomb is split.
That must have resulted in at least a few pairs of thoroughly soiled underwear
I pre-soil in situations like this to save time. Like and subscribe for more tips.
‘How to shit your pants’ is a YouTube advice channel I never wanted to think existed.. thanks, I think.
I hear it’s the bomb
i hear its 'the shit' i think is where you were headed with this one.
I watched it a few times, now I can finally drop mass out my ass directly into my undergarments. They definitely earned a new subscriber and Hanes earned a new customer.
PANT SHITTING GONE SEXUAL!!
Technically if you wanna look at it like this, shitting your pants is the same thing as the planes bomb hitting its own wing: you tried, but failed, to drop a deuce
Yeah man, you shit everything out before you do anything like this. Ex-racer doing 100mph+ around corners is my experience and I always shat everything pre-race.
Birds poop before they take off too
Air Force goes with eat steak and eggs so it’s low residue on long flights
I’m too afraid to ask what low residue means
Smol poops. Especially important on long range missions. The aircraft I dealt with bad the pilots in their seats (no toilet) for 12 hours. Less poop was a very good thing
Imagine the scraping noises. Assuming they weren't armed bombs, but still.
***Rolls 1 for intelligence***
*”You look down and see the bomb you released 3 minutes ago gently caressing the wing of your plane”*
> That must have resulted in at least a few pairs of thoroughly soiled underwear
Yeah. But I bet they replaced the explosives with some other type of material with equal weight. At least for the first few tests.
Yeah I suspect that planes asshole wasn't the only one to be violently ripped open upon impact
Now I want to know how they solved these problems.
In general, when speed prevents the weapon from performing as intended, they slow down. This creates parameters, along with other factors such as wind speed and temperature, called an envelope. In order to carry and release certain weapons, the aircraft must be within that envelope.
Weapon dynamics are complicated, and change with the aircraft, the type of fuel/accelerant the weapon uses, aircraft inert gas use, and which other weapons the aicraft carries.
Long term, companies design a new weapon, which takes significant investment and time, even when using a current weapon as a baseline.
What do you mean by aircraft inert gas? Why does an aircraft use inert gas?
“I would like to know more.” (Starship troopers announcer voice)
Not all aircraft do, but fighter jets frequently do. They spray inert gas in their used fuel tanks so they don't blow up. Some even have inert gas sprayed over the wings so they don't light on fire when they launch a missile. Most weapons have a drop before the missile ignites to help prevent this from occurring.
Where did you get this information? I was an ordnanceman on F-14/F-18 for 13 years and never heard of anything like this. Not trying to be venomous, just genuinely curious.
On the aircraft and weapon system testing side. Ordnance itself won't have inert gas systems, and all defined envelopes require the entire system of weapon and aircraft. Ordnance, when I have dealt with them, is mostly concerned with safety, and that role can never be downplayed. Much respect. The F/A-18 E and F use inert gas fire suppression systems. Not classified, so general information can be found on web searches.
Respectfully, why do you know all that stuff?
Edit: I don't understand all the down votes. I was just asking out of curiosity because I thought it was cool that they knew that stuff.
Either it's their hobby or their job. Why do you care why they know [email protected]
because it's good to know where the source info is coming from. Was it a person who simply enjoys the subject and gained their knowledge by doing general web searches or it was the person's job?
Details like that allow me to decide to take the information with a grain of salt, or take it as canon.
(a different person that the one you responded to)
And if they were at a party, that's how you'd keep the conversation going, whereas your answer, wouldn't be conducive for friendly discourse.
I knew there would be at least one of you little shits in the comments
Tbf, they’re usually an hour or more late
Is this the Navy version of IYAAYAS?
*North Koreans furiously scribbling notes*
Lol as if they have Reddit
How does spraying inert gas on the wings work? Wouldn’t the gas just… dissipate/diffuse in the air, especially if going at the speed of a fighter jet? What inert gas do they usually use?
I didn’t realize all these little nuances that would make owning a fighter jet so expensive. I read the Taliban inherited a few black hawks from us when we left Afghanistan and people said that it was okay because they won’t be able to maintain it but now I really understand that it’s going to be hard to use those black hawks in a meaningful way to their cause.
A fair number of planes have an OBIGGS, or onboard inert gas generation system, which will just remove some oxygen from the air to create a nitrogen rich ullage within the fuel tanks so a spark can't detonate them. They've tried implementing some simpler systems in all aircraft to at least get the oxygen concentration down to under 12% instead of 21% like atmospheric air would.
This. I can't speak for military aircraft but most commercial aircraft will have an inerting system (If necessary). It doesn't use inert gas but as redpandaeater mentioned removes oxygen from the fuel tank ullage (air above the fuel) in an effort to reduce fuel tank flammability.
Why? Aircraft certification standards require fuel tanks to be below 3% flammability (fleet average, also percentage differs for old aircraft as 3% is a newer req) over the aircrafts flight cycle. As flammability is generally worst during take off, climb and decent, mainly due to pressure changes in the ullage which influences ignition temps of the fuel, the IGGS systems kick in to reduce oxygen concentrations and reduce flammability. They'll also run for about 30mins after cruise starts and until the fuel temperature drops enough to lower the flammability that way.
Alternate methods include pressurising the fuel tanks throughout climb at sea level pressure although this is usually only for additional center tanks in the cargo hold (see A321neo and A320neo ACJ).
Source: I used to model these fuckers.
Thanks for this. Makes much more sense than to use a tank with neon or helium. I forget this isn’t a science experiment with double blinds and controlled methods and all they’re doing is trying to not make vaporized fuel into flame.
>I didn’t realize all these little nuances that would make owning a fighter jet so expensive. I read the Taliban inherited a few black hawks from us when we left Afghanistan and people said that it was okay because they won’t be able to maintain it but now I really understand that it’s going to be hard to use those black hawks in a meaningful way to their cause.
Helicopters require an insane amount of maintenance and parts per hour of flight. Even with full parts availability usually around 30/50% of any squadron are down for maintenance or repairs at any given time. Take away the mechanics and parts supply then you have a giant paperweight in short order.
Every 40 flight hours they require a full day of testing by two trained technicians. Engines need constant cleaning and testing ect. The number i know was something like 6 hours maintenance for every hour of flight just to keep em operational. Add in that being kept in a ready to fly state causes corrosion means they cant just store them and use them when they want. Tbh they are probably all out of service/unsafe to fly by now.
Same issue Iran had with its F14s, lack of tech base to produce the parts to maintain them meant when were cut off from US supplies most of them were rapidly taken out of service.
> 6 hours maintenance for every hour of flight just to keep em operational.
Oh my word! They really do have no chance keeping these things operating. They will soon become roadside attractions instead of fighting vehicles.
Did you mean to say black market sales? Because they'd rather have cash than paper weights
Yeah, you are indeed right. I suppose my perception has been heavily influenced by all of the wrecked equipment I've seen in the media over decades. Up to date helicopters and other modern technology is going to be saleable and better used that way.
Whether they do that in any meaningful quantity is another question.
The inert gas on wings is niche and not widely implemented, and potentially discontinued altogether, for the reason you point out. A pressurized tank spewing inert gas directly behind the missile's back end. Similar to a fire extinguisher, it's a one-time use. There are more effective ways of preventing fire on the outside of an aircraft.
> companies design a new weapon, which takes significant investment and time,
But fortunately they do have a very expensive and single use product when they do sort the snags out. Imagine how much money you could make if you could sell phones that explode with every use? You'd soon be a billionaire.
I would love for the market to not exist at all.
"Only one business in the galaxy gets you this rich"
Just want to chime in and say that these are probably high speed tests of weapon releases. They knew that it might not work properly so they made damn sure to call their moms to get their cameras so that they could record it for later study!
I don't know what anyone else is talking about in the comments minus one smart person. They use an ejection system. The bomb racks are equipped with gas pressurized ejector pistons. These pistons are used to push the ordnance down and away from the aircraft upon release from the hooks after after they are disengaged.
Basically, the pilot select weapons stations for release. After he hits release, a signal is sent to the station and the electrical charge ignites two impulse carts that release gas pressure. The pistons are pushed down after the internal linkage opens the hooks that hold the weapon in place.
> I don't know what anyone else is talking about in the comments minus one smart person. They use an ejection system.
It's ALWAYS like that in every scientific thread comment section. LEGIONS of teenagers that have once read a paragraph or seen a 15 min youtube video posturing as professors/industry veterans and lecturing the masses with walls of text that are simply hylarious to read if you actually have some knowledge in the sector.
But the other teenagers don't know any better, upvote automatically, and will parrot the same bullshits in future threads, only with added random details to make the thing spicier or fill some holes.
It's like that on every scientific/technological thread on reddit, and it's a mix of funny/terrifying. It makes you realize that the know-it-all kids that used to make shit up in high school for anyone willing to listen are much more numerous that you once thought (or all magnetically gravitate to internet threads like these), and that they never grow out of the behaviour.
I read your comment in James Hetfield's voice... lol
We get it…
Pilot to designer…
You do know that bombs are supposed to fucking drop right?
Best I can do is make it go flippity flip.
the one went wobbilty woo
“Yes, sir, Mr. President. It’s ready to deploy. We call it the Wobbilty Woo.”
Ambassador: “If Russia does not back down, we will be forced to wobble woo flippity floop.”
Translator: I think they want a weeble wobble toy.
Putin “fucking send them”.
And that’s how translation errors cause wars
They wobble but they won’t fall down.
It's clearly defective. We want flippity flop, we will tolerate wiggly piggly, but will can not abide wobbilty woo!
Up, and to the left.
"Catch you on the flippity flip"
IT NEEDS TO BE POINTY
I love this thread so much .
Well, how should these poor engineers have known that air currents would dare to influence their mighty bombs
"assume air resistance does not exist"
It worked in our simulations!
Lol gen physics. Then you get to fluid dynamics and realize all those hours spent on diff eq's were not in vain.
man it's been a long long time since i laughed at that joke but this was great
Well, you take it out to Area 51 and test it with properly balanced test bombs that don't go boomity boomity.
no no enginer stupid, redditor smart
Pilot to engineer: ”bomb must down, not up, make happen. Ooga booga quick quick. Me back from golf course by 1pm.”
It's like the target did an Uno reverse on the plane
Drop bombs on your moms
I mean it’s a missile which I guess is a type of bomb. But they seem to go more horizontal than just down
Good thing the tippy tip wasn't full of blowy up stuff.
Too bad the backy wacky didn't have enough zoom juice though.
You joke, but the steery man probably poopied his footy jammies.
r/TIHI to this whole thread
Dang, that bomby womby is going the wong wayy
His Tinker almost Tailored his Soldier Spy
Oopsy woopsy the controllywolly finnywinnies are stuckywucky.
You joke but death wears bunny slippers
Wacky backy where I grew up was slang for weed lol
*promoted to five star general*
No boom is good boom
I bet the camera thingy put some little green apples in the flight suit
They should have tried sitting on it and waving a cowboy hat around
We'll Meet Again!
You're going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company for that one.
That’s my favorite line in the whole damn movie lol
Also stop worrying
One of my jobs was to evaluate a safe zone for a series of missile tests. My boss told me to just include every failure mode.
Basically after a great deal of effort and modeling I had an area where it was reasonable to be hit.
I also just took the max range of the weapon, added 50% and drew a big circle.
That 50% addition is called the "shitting" margin in Portuguese. The understanding of that value is what separate a good engineer from a great one.
I now need to find a reason to bring up the shitting margin.
It's something like saying
"no sane person would put more than 200kg in this. But I can't trust people so I'll make this with a shitting factor of 1.5 and design this to support 300kg. Those 100 extra kg até my shitting margin"
The good old coeficiente de cagaço caralho!
I've definitely never participated in a munitions test where a misplaced minus sign caused the guidance to head in the opposite direction away from the target directly back at the testers.
We test fired early prototypes of the LRLAP it had some suprises. It is not normal to fire a guided missile out of artillery. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_Range_Land_Attack_Projectile
SADARMs were also interesting.
Everyone is nervous the first time a new weapon is fired, even if it is full of wax instead of high explosive.
Failure modes were things like a fin failing and locking into some wierd spiral.
Revert to launch, check your staging, and try again!
And once you go RSS, bang your head against the table because the ullage didn't work as anticipated.
Get everything working perfectly for your manned mission to another planet. Launch is smooth, stages work properly, action groups functional, orbit achieved, exit trajectory established. Everything is perfect and the mission is all but guaranteed to be a success. Except your capsule is empty.
With BDArmory mod, you had a missile guidance module you could strap to any rocket and it would (within reason) turn it into a heat seeking missile. I futzed around for a week before I finally got one to lock on and fire correctly, shit was great. Peak Kerbal Defense Program lol
Is everything on tiktok now?
It's youtube for zoomers
Conveniently with much shorter videos to accomodate the adhd
Yeah it's basically the new YouTube, you can find anything and everything on there
Cool vid. Thanks for sharing!
r/KerbalSpaceProgram its footage of me
Engineers writing in their engineer books, "DON'T fill them with helium..."
Guy skimming the chapter: “well, I saw the word helium so I just figured….”
History is filled with those
Ok, we need a bomb. But we need a special bomb that's *affected by gravity*, kind of like everything else in the universe.
Those aren't missiles, they're bombs. But this still happens. Especially in high-drag munitions. The weapons arm by falling so they aren't armed when they impact the plane but still does crazy amounts of damage to the aircrafts tail section generally. Saw it happen once at Barksdale AFB while i was there.
Or fuel tanks.
Yea some of those are fuel tanks.
Those are mostly drop tanks and bombs, and not missiles....
Some of those looked like early air-launched cruise missile tests from the 70's. My unit did refueling support for those flights; some of the stories the flight crews came back with match up with these videos.
Technically still missiles
Anything can be a missile if you throw it hard enough
Only if you have bad aim, otherwise they'd be hittles.
Even if you poop from the sky ?
The peanuts are a dead giveaway.
No, no they're not.
They said *technically*, and I think that changes how you should read it.
Yes, a military missile is *self*\-propelled, but when someone says *technically*, you need to look beyond common usage to scientific or lexical definitions:
*an object (such as a weapon) thrown or projected usually so as to strike something at a distance*
*an object which is forcibly propelled at a target, either by hand or from a mechanical weapon.*
We can clearly see a fast-moving plane propelling/projecting the bomb, so *technically*, it's a missile despite the fact it isn't self-propelled.
Learn to pronounce
an object which is forcibly propelled at a target, either by hand or from a mechanical weapon.
You mean like an object accelerated to significant percentages of the speed of sound by a weapons delivery platform full of fuel?
It might not have been intentionally propelled in the way you want a missile to, but, the laws of physics mean that thing is going to go in the same direction at the same speed as the mechanism that let it go until an external force acts upon it.
Tricky thing about throwing dictionary extracts around… they can be open to interpretation.
A brick when thrown is a missile for instance. If you don’t believe me, throw one at a cop and see what the courts call it.
Technically correct is the best kind of correct.
It is most definitely my favourite kind of correct.
We aren't talking about rocks in slings here, but feel free to try to throw one of those bombs.
[In military terminology, a missile is a guided airborne ranged weapon capable of self-propelled flight usually by a jet engine or rocket motor.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missile).
Bombs and fuel tanks are not forcibly propelled, which is why they are not missiles.
Pssst, they're attached to a plane which is *checks notes* forcibly propelled by a jet engine on the rear.
"Dad, are we hit?"
"I'm sorry son. They got us."
“Fly? Yes. Land? No.”
these are not early missile tests, these are "Store seperation failures"
to explain this further, fast moving jet aircraft carry their bombs and drop tanks on so called "ejector racks" as the name implies they eject the weapon away from the aircrafts wind stream
this is done via a metal rod that touches the bomb, when the pilot then presses his weapn release button a shotgun cartridge is fired, this opens the hooks holding the bomb to the plane and shoot said rod out pushing the bomb away.
now, that system can fail when it gets dirty and clogged up due to the dirt created of firing shotgun blanks
this causes the rod to no longer push the weapon away and now the bomb / external fuel tank freely falls and get sucked up into the windstream.
[Here a picture from a manual](https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-577b8dd3a7bc5acf2aa02d0eb25161be)
"Son, I'm sorry. They got us"
11 o'clock! Dad, 11 o'clock!
Did they not weigh it down enough in the front? Or am I missing how they're supposed to be made? Lol.
Rocket babies dont know how to fall down, so they fall up
Pilot go FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKK
Kerbal Plane Launch
Damn, the parachutes back then probably made you fly up
Can you imagine how terrifying that "oh shit" moment would've been in the cockpit lol.
Missiles being jerks
And after these tests, what did the military brass say? They said, "This is the future! Remove the machine guns from the fighter planes! They won't be needed anymore!"
Then a lot of F4 Phantom pilots died... :/
these arent missiles, these are all bombs and external fuel tanks
also, this happens when the [Bomb ejector racks](https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-577b8dd3a7bc5acf2aa02d0eb25161be) are not properly maintained and are clogged up by shotgun primer resedue.
lastly, the USN kept guns away from their F-4s and had BETTER combat records using just missiles than the USAF F-4s that added guns after creating the top gun school and after properly training ground personell on how to handle fragile missiles and not damage them while loading onto the aircraft.
it was a training issue, not a equiptment issue
That last clip, that fucker had all kinds of sorcery going on.
the balls required to be a pilot testing experimental missile designs.
You can't even see what's happening beneath your aircraft until you're losing control because the prototype took your stabilizer out or something.
Last one is precision US drone strike
These aren't missiles, but rather external fuel tanks and bombs.
This is why bombs are no longer “dropped” they mount on Ejector Release Units that have cartridge explosives inside. That extends pistons at high speed to push the ordinance away from the aircraft.
Conventional missiles are on launcher rails and use their own thrust to fire away from the aircraft.
Source: former weapons engineer
WIIIE Im free! And fuck you plane.
The most infamous failure, IMHO, is the bomb-ejection system designed for the A-5A Vigilante. It was intended that a bomb would eject out the rear of the aircraft from a specially designed chute between the engines and descend using a parachute. What they found was, when the tailcone fell off and the payload exited, it would get caught in the slipstream of the Vigi and trail it, rather than falling. Imagine being chased by a nuke! Needless to say, they abandoned the idea, and moved the Vigi to the recon role.
Reminds me of when they were testing super sonic jets that still used a cannon and the pilot flew into his own shells because he was flying faster than them
if I didn't know any better I'd say the military is a giant clusterfuck
You’re aware that if we don’t fund it for five minutes it ceases to exist
Founding fathers are selectively quoted.
Permanent war state was not the original plan. But then John Adams wasn’t re-elected.
why is that when none of these are:
these clips are all store seperation failures coming from a improperly cleaned [ejector rack](https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-577b8dd3a7bc5acf2aa02d0eb25161be)
its a rare failure though
EAGLE ONE, FOX THREE
Others: why are you not leaving the plane?
Pilot: first bring me a pair of pants.
Perfect! Just sell them to the enemy
Bomb has mad the acheivement! 'Return to sender'
Years ago I worked for a defence contractor which was working on a new torpedo. One evening the guys in the next cubicle where talking about a recent test and were overheard saying "Does anyone have any idea why it goes in circles?"
I’m guessing the thrusters (if that’s the correct term) failed to ignite. Either way it’s fascinating as I always just assumed gravity would be in play but never actually considered the height and speed affects.
On the bomb miss drops I would think that the cartridges were not loaded in to the ERU (Ejector Release Unit)
When the pilot presses the release button, two shotgun like explosive cartridges fire and the gas from the explosives push two piston's in to the bomb forcing it out of the airstream of the aircraft
The reason they flip or stick to the bottom of the aircraft is because of aerodynamics. The air passing underneath the bomb is faster than the air passing over the top giving it lift. This is why the ERU's need to give bombs a little shove off.
Edit: Mistake on principle of aerodynamics, leaving it in so comments below make sense.
It’s the faster air that exerts lower pressure per the Bernoulli principle. So as the air gets squeezed between two surfaces, say the top of a bomb and the belly of a nearby aircraft, it is accelerated and therefore creates an area of low pressure between the two bodies, literally sucking them together. So it can take quite a bit of force to overcome that, using the ERU like you said, but also the angle of attack of the bomb, the weight and balance of the bomb, everything that the can to get it far away as quickly as possible.
I read your reply and was thinking oh this person is giving a more detailed explanation, then I read my comment again and... well how embarrassing! Ha ha. Just glad reddit is anonymous because my boss would not be impressed.
cartridges where loaded, otherwise you would not have release (the cartridge also opens the clamps)
this is likely the racks not being properly cleaned or maintained
Not missles,bomb and fuel tank ejection footage
None of those are missiles.